Working with people who have experienced domestic violence, sexual assault, and complex trauma has taught me the power and importance of language in healing. My name is Tony Canton, and I’m a psychotherapy extern with Rise Psychology NYC. Growing up in New York City with roots in Puerto Rico, the Dominican Republic, and the U.S. Virgin Islands, I’ve seen firsthand how words shape our sense of identity, especially when it comes to trauma. My experiences in forensic and school-based therapy have shown me the weight of labels like “victim” or even “survivor.” They can help us understand what’s happened, but sometimes they limit us too, keeping us tied to pain rather than moving forward.
If you’re reading this and you’ve been through trauma, you may feel the impact of these words yourself. While they offer a way to make sense of your experiences, they may also feel heavy, making it hard to see a path beyond survival. I’m writing this because I believe there’s a way to move from surviving to thriving, and I want to share what I’ve learned from working alongside people like you who are ready to break free from limiting labels.
What Should We Call It? Rethinking Trauma Terminology
Healing from trauma is deeply personal, and so is the language we use to describe it. While terms like “victim” and “survivor” can be helpful, they don’t fit everyone’s experience or goals. I encourage you to think about how you would describe your own journey. Maybe “survivor” resonates with you, or maybe you want something that captures your growth and resilience, like “thriver” or simply “healed.”
You have the right to define your own experiences in words that feel empowering. Trauma may be a part of your story, but it doesn’t have to be the whole story. Choosing a language that reflects where you are and where you want to go is one way to take control of your narrative, to say, “This is who I am, and this is where I’m going.”
The Nuance of Language in Trauma Recovery
In trauma recovery, language is more than a way to describe what happened—it can shape how we feel about ourselves and our lives moving forward. Words like “victim” are important in legal settings, but they don’t always work well in healing spaces. For some, the label can feel permanent or even retraumatizing, reinforcing a sense of helplessness or loss rather than offering a sense of hope.
In therapy, we often explore how words impact our inner worlds. You might notice that certain terms make you feel stuck, while others give you a sense of strength. Finding words that feel right is about more than accuracy; it’s about choosing language that supports your healing journey, allowing you to move beyond what happened and into a space where you can truly start to reclaim your life.
Labels can help us make sense of what happened—but sometimes, they keep us bound to pain instead of freeing us to move forward.
The Shift from ‘Victim’ to ‘Survivor’
Over the years, “survivor” has become the preferred term in trauma work. It moves away from the idea of victimhood and emphasizes strength, resilience, and progress. Embracing the identity of a survivor can be a powerful step forward. It can allow you to see yourself as someone who has made it through something difficult, someone who has the strength to keep going.
Thriving allows you to move past the limitations of trauma, to experience growth, joy, and fulfillment on your own terms. It’s a shift from being defined by what you went through to being empowered by who you are now and who you’re becoming.
But while “survivor” is often more empowering than “victim,” it still has its limitations. For some people, surviving isn’t enough. It feels like it’s just about getting by. If you’re here, reading this, you might be ready to go beyond survival, to imagine what life could look like if you’re not just making it through, but actually thriving.
Surviving is essential, but it doesn’t have to be the end goal. Many people I work with come into therapy with a desire to reclaim their lives, to rebuild a sense of self that isn’t defined by what happened to them. Thriving is about finding joy, setting goals, and rediscovering parts of yourself that may have felt lost or broken. When I introduce the idea of thriving, many people feel a sense of relief and even excitement. It opens up a new way of thinking about what recovery can mean.
Thriving allows you to move past the limitations of trauma, to experience growth, joy, and fulfillment on your own terms. It’s a shift from being defined by what you went through to being empowered by who you are now and who you’re becoming.
Thriving is about finding joy, setting goals, and rediscovering parts of yourself that may have felt lost or broken.
The Role of Therapy in Reframing Trauma Language
Therapy can be a safe space to explore the words that feel right for you, to find terms that don’t just define what you’ve been through, but what you’re building toward. My role as a therapist is to support you in creating a language that empowers you. Together, we can work to move beyond limiting labels and toward a perspective that fully honors your strength, resilience, and capacity for growth.
In our sessions, we’ll focus on the language and ideas that make you feel strong, whole, and capable. This isn’t just about changing words; it’s about changing how you see yourself, giving you tools to reclaim your narrative in ways that feel true to you.
Empowering You to Thrive
Healing from trauma is a journey, one that involves redefining not just what happened but how you move forward. By choosing words that emphasize resilience, growth, and empowerment, you can take back control over your story. Moving beyond “victim” or “survivor” to a language that speaks to thriving can be a transformative step in healing.
If you’re ready to explore what it means to truly thrive, therapy can provide the space to do that. I invite you to book a complimentary session with me to talk about your journey and the ways we can work together to find a path to healing that feels right for you. Thriving isn’t just a goal—it’s a way to reclaim your life and step into a future that’s not just about survival, but about joy, fulfillment, and growth.
