THERAPY FOR ANger
IN NYC

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We Specialize in Therapy for Anger Management

Anger is an undeniably human emotion. When we’re dealing with stress, injustice, failure, or just plain “wrongness,” anger can bubble from underneath the surface and escalate the situation. At times, anger is understandable and even healthy — motivating you to take action to resolve a problem instead of passively sitting back. It can also help you relieve stress or open up dialogue about your negative feelings. 

However, when left uncontrolled, it can alienate you from others or cause you to do or say things you’ll regret later. 

There are many possible causes of anger. Sometimes, anger can be a reaction to present circumstances or memories of a past experience. It can also be in reaction to an external factor (e.g. humiliation at the hands of another person) or an internal factor (e.g. being frustrated at yourself for committing a mistake). Some thought patterns can also lead up to an angry outburst, such as:

• Blaming others — Assigning blame to others is typically an attempt to avoid shame and responsibility for your own actions. 

• Inflexibility — Being unable to accept what’s actually happening vs. what you wanted to happen can lower your tolerance for frustration and make you more prone to anger.

• Collecting straws — Going about your day and mentally tallying every small incident (e.g. your coffee was too cold, you stepped in a puddle, someone was rude to you on the bus, etc.) until you reach “the last straw” and your anger spills over is an unhealthy, yet common, way to justify an angry outburst. 

• Overgeneralizing — If you’re stuck in a black-and-white way of thinking, you might view things as worse than they really are. 

• “Mind-reading” — You might assume other people’s intentions or feelings, convincing yourself that they meant to hurt or disrespect you and becoming unnecessarily hostile towards them as a result.

Anger management therapy aims to help challenge these thought patterns and manage the physiological and emotional effects of anger.

Instead of attempting to change the circumstances or people that bring about your anger, anger management focuses on improving your self-control — recognizing your triggers, learning to cope with them, and expressing your emotions in a healthy way. 

By itself, anger isn’t necessarily bad. It’s the way you react to anger that determines the severity of its consequences. Uncontrolled anger can look different from person to person, so it can be hard to define or identify. 

Some may let their anger out through yelling or screaming at others, or even engaging in aggressive or violent behavior (e.g. physical violence, threatening others, etc.). This tends to be the most common image of uncontrolled anger. While some may find they feel better after “releasing” their anger in this way, aggression often leads to more anger in themselves and others. 

Others may seethe quietly, building up resentment and hostility towards the world. They may be constantly dwelling on the events that made them angry, unable to focus on what’s in front of them. 

Others may also engage in passive-aggressive behaviors, which are indirect attempts to punish, stop, or change someone else’s actions (e.g. giving someone the silent treatment, making sarcastic remarks, procrastinating on a task they don’t want to do, etc.). Some may view it as a more “polite” alternative to aggression, but it still isn’t a healthy way of resolving issues — passive-aggressiveness tends to elicit confusion and frustration in others.

Uncontrolled anger doesn’t have an official diagnosis, unlike other conditions that can impact your well-being, such as depression or anxiety. However, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t come with consequences. 

An increased risk of heart disease and high blood pressure has been linked to anger. Anger has also been seen as a symptom of conditions like attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), narcissistic personality disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), bipolar disorder, oppositional defiant disorder (ODD), and major depression. Chronic anger also increases the risk of substance abuse. Anger not only affects you but the people around you as well. 

If you’re aware that you have anger issues but don’t know what to do about them, you may benefit from seeking help.