Therapy for Religious Trauma in NYC

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What is religious trauma?

We specialize in therapy for religious trauma in NYC

Religion can be a challenging subject. Some find comfort in it, subscribing to orders and doctrines to guide their thoughts and their actions. Others do not deem it important, content with keeping it out of their lives.

For some, however, religion can be a source of trauma, whether caused by a religious institution, family affiliation, or the community surrounding it. Religious trauma, also called religious trauma syndrome, may not be an official diagnosis in the DSM-5 (the manual used by mental health professionals to identify and diagnose conditions), but that doesn’t make it any less real.

Religious trauma can result from a variety of factors, leading to situations such as:

• Leaving a religious community and losing the relationships you formed within

• Politics within the community

• Constant disapproval of feelings or independent thinking (e.g. being dismissed, gaslighted, or shamed when you disagree with authority figures)

• Compromised trust or betrayal on behalf of someone you thought you could trust

• Physical or sexual abuse perpetuated by someone with authority or high standing within the religious community

• Being criticized, shamed, or mocked for your beliefs or practices that may or may not deviate from the norm (whether by people outside or inside of the community)

• Authority figures using religious doctrine to control others financially, emotionally, psychologically, physically, etc (e.g. using religious beliefs to control what clothes you wear, who you can date, what jobs you can have, how you interact with other people, etc.)

• Being forced, coerced, or guilted into participating in activities you don’t want to participate in (e.g. being forced to give money or share resources “for a cause”)

• Having your feelings or identity (e.g. sexuality) invalidated and labeled as “demonic,” “sinful,” or “a result of weak faith”

• Being subjected to physical and or psychological abuse simply due to your sexual identity (e.g. conversion therapy, family members disowning you)

This isn’t an exhaustive list. Religious trauma is an informal and broad term — it can arise from various situations (or a combination thereof) and can happen in any religion. A toxic religious environment can feel inescapable, especially because leaving often means denouncing your current life.

Regardless of how toxic your environment may be, it still includes your entire life and everyone you know. Giving up that support and starting over from scratch can be a frightening prospect, and oftentimes it leaves vulnerable people stuck where they are.

Experiencing religious trauma can leave you feeling adrift and unsure. If your community doesn’t tolerate individual questioning, you may experience extreme anxiety over your doubts.

It’s normal to feel conflicted about experiencing religious trauma. What isn’t normal, however, is experiencing religious or spiritual abuse. Your religious community is meant to be a place of safety, support, and spirituality — you don’t have to tolerate abuse or neglectful treatment from others.

If you’re unsure if you’re suffering from religious trauma, here are some symptoms you may be experiencing:

• Low self-esteem and self-worth (e.g. feeling guilty or ashamed for questioning your religious beliefs, being unable to trust your judgment or intuition, being ashamed of your body, etc.)

• Feeling conflicted, ambivalent, angry, anxious, depressed, and/or guilty due to questioning your community, upbringing, people, teachings, and ideologies that previously brought comfort

• Depression and anxiety

• Being afraid of voicing your opinion or questioning what you’re taught

• Being excessively critical of yourself and others (e.g. judging actions based on your religious beliefs and a fear of repercussion for violating said beliefs)

• Not sharing or taking measures to conceal aspects about your life or yourself out of fear of others uncovering the “real” you

• Being unable to say “no” to others out of obligation or guilt

• Feeling jumpy or constantly on alert

• Questioning your identity or feeling lost or without a sense of purpose (e.g. What does it mean for me if I no longer identify as a religious person or with this specific group?)

• Feeling lonely and isolated, even when surrounded by others 

• Feeling uncomfortable in social settings, or as though you “don’t belong”

• Feeling like you’ve been left behind (e.g. thoughts like “Other people are already getting married and starting a family but I’m still far behind.”)

• Avoiding people, places, or activities that remind you of traumatic memories

• Loss of interest in activities you used to enjoy

• Strained relationships with your family and friends

• Hostility or dismissiveness towards others not within the same religious community

As experiences are unique to an individual, there are no hard and fast rules for what constitutes a symptom of religious trauma. In some cases, religious trauma presents similarly to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or Complex PTSD. If you feel like these symptoms are holding you back from fully expressing yourself and genuinely enjoying your daily life, therapy for religious trauma in NYC may help.