I If you have experienced the loss of a loved one and are finding it difficult to adapt to everyday life, you’re not alone.
It’s important to recognize that what you are experiencing is a natural reaction to a profound loss and the challenges of fully processing that loss, irrespective of the current circumstances. But when does grief turn complicated, and evolve into something that feels insurmountable?
Knowing the signs of prolonged grief disorder can help you or someone you care about get the help they need.
Knowing the signs of prolonged grief disorder can help you or someone you care about get the help they need.
What is Prolonged Grief Disorder?
Prolonged grief, also referred to as complicated grief, was added to the The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) in light of the pandemic.
Prolonged Grief Disorder looks like an intense longing for the person you’ve lost and fixation on thoughts of the deceased. Someone suffering from prolonged grief may find it difficult to function on a daily basis and struggle to return to a new normal.
Getting support immediately when you recognize the signs can break the cycle and help you start your healing process.
Prolonged grief differs from normal grief in intensity and duration. The grief reactions you tend to see in the days or weeks immediately following a death – crying, trouble sleeping and eating, withdrawing from relationships – may go on for months or even years after the loss.
While there is no exact threshold for when normal grief crosses into prolonged grief, the new diagnosis states that if you remain incapacitated and unable to return to your daily life 12 months after a loss, you may be suffering from prolonged grief disorder.
It’s important to remember that since everyone moves through grief at their own pace, the 12 month guideline should be taken as a rule of thumb. The duration of your grief is not the only determining factor. It’s when grief becomes debilitating and goes beyond what is considered normal that can indicate prolonged grief concerns
Prolonged Grief Disorder Criteria
People who suffer from prolonged grief may look like they cannot fully move on from their loss. They struggle to accept the loss and cope with it on a day to day basis. It’s a feeling of being trapped in their grief and not knowing how to break the cycle.
These symptoms, especially if they persist for over 12 months, can signal prolonged grief disorder. But remember, you don’t have to wait until the 12th month mark in order to seek help. Getting support immediately when you recognize the signs can break the cycle and help you start your healing process. Other indicators of prolonged grief include:
- Intense longing for the deceased
- Denial and inability to accept the loss
- Ruminating thoughts about the deceased or the circumstances surrounding their death
- Feeling numb
- Believing that life is meaningless
- Problems functioning in your social, work, or school life
- Avoiding reminders of the deceased
- Feeling as though a part of you has died
- Catastrophizing about the future
- Self-blame
- Difficulty planning for the focus
- Anger or irritability
- Difficulty focusing
- Feeling alone or detached from others
People suffering from prolonged grief may not even realize there’s a name for what they’re experiencing.
Who’s at Risk?
People who have lost a primary relationship – such as a partner, child, or parent – are at higher risk for developing prolonged grief disorder. Deaths that are abrupt or violent can also put you at higher risk.
Lastly, as mental health professions, we know that the sheer magnitude of loss caused by the COVID-19 pandemic put many more people at risk of developing complicated grief reactions.
Navigating the loss of a loved one under normal circumstances is difficult enough. When you step back and see how the pandemic took away many of the structures in place that help people cope with a loss, you can understand why this loss may look and feel different. For example, not being able to be by your loved one’s side in their final moments, celebrate their life, or lean on your support system could have strongly disrupted your grieving process. It could have even made it impossible to move forward.
Why Should You Care about Prolonged Grief Disorder?
Because prolonged grief is a relatively new diagnosis, many people do not know about prolonged grief disorder or what it looks like. People suffering from prolonged grief may not even realize there’s a name for what they’re experiencing.
In fact, many people suffering mistake what’s going on as depression – which doesn’t quite capture the nuance of prolonged grief disorder. Similarly, people suffering from prolonged grief disorder don’t respond well to treatment for depression.
With prolonged grief, your brain’s reward system lights up when you think of the deceased. This is a bodily response that more closely mimics addiction than depression. As such, prolonged grief disorder requires its own unique treatment plan.
It’s important to stay educated on the symptoms of prolonged grief to recognize the symptoms in yourself or someone close to you.
Thankfully, recognizing prolonged grief disorder in yourself or someone close to you is the first step toward healing
How Therapy can Help
Thankfully, recognizing prolonged grief disorder in yourself or someone close to you is the first step toward healing. Prolonged grief disorder is responsive to treatment, and therapy can help you find your way back to yourself. You can learn to live with loss and find the ability to be happy again.
If you’re suffering with intense and unrelenting feelings of grief, schedule a free consultation with one of our therapists specializing in Prolonged Grief Disorder today.
